The invention of phones indeed made lives more manageable. People can reach their loved ones no matter where they are and have conversations with them. Staying in touch became even more critical during the COVID-19 pandemic. So, it’s hard to imagine not being able to make phone calls.
However, this is a sad reality for most people who find it highly stressful and panicky. This is known as phone call anxiety (telephobia). It is different and more severe than hating a cell phone. It also differs from a natural dislike of making or receiving calls.
If you have specific symptoms when about to place or receive a call, you most likely have phone anxiety. Thankfully, it is possible to deal with this condition. This article explains in detail what phone anxiety is, common symptoms, and how to deal with it.
What Is Phone Call Anxiety?
In the United States, over 40 million adults (19.1%) have an anxiety disorder. Meanwhile, approximately 7% of children aged 3-17 experience issues with anxiety each year. Most people develop symptoms before age 21. Anxiety affects people irrespective of their social or economic backgrounds and personality.
Phone anxiety is a fear common among people suffering from a social anxiety disorder (SAD). It affects a person’s life socially and even at the workplace. However, there are people without social anxiety disorder who deal with this mental health issue whenever their phone rings.
Several factors contribute to this ailment, especially past trauma that affects trust in people. For example, you can communicate effectively when face-to-face with others because you can read their expressions and body language. But since you can’t tell someone’s reaction over the phone, you distrust them.
Also, phone calls are disruptive, involve confrontation, and create the possibility of being judged or rejected. All these feed the fears of a person already suffering from anxiety.
What Are the Symptoms of Phone Call Anxiety?
Common symptoms of telephobia are:
- Feeling very anxious before and after talking on the phone
- Difficulty concentrating while making calls
- Avoiding phone calls because of nervousness
- Feeling like your heart is racing
- Worrying about bothering the other person
- Feeling nauseous when making a call
- Being bothered about what you’ll say and how the other person will react
- Sweaty palms
- Shaking while making a phone call
- Obsessing over everything discussed during the call
How Can You Overcome Phone Call Anxiety?
Since phone anxiety is common, you’re not alone, and those before you have overcome it. The tactics discussed below worked for those people and will most likely work for you. It is a form of exposure therapy, and the more you do it, the easier it becomes.
Here are ways to overcome phone call anxiety.
Focus on the Goal of the Call
Rather than constantly worrying about what could go wrong or what the other person is thinking, focus on the reason for the call. Ask yourself:
- What am I trying to accomplish with this call?
- How will this call benefit me?
- What am I trying to gain from the other party or what they want from me?
- How will I communicate my needs, and what about the other party?
Get the answers to this question before your next phone call. Then, write down the answers and look at them when communicating through the phone. Doing this takes your mind away from how the person on the other end receives your words or what they’ll say.
Reconcile Yourself With What Could Go Wrong
When dealing with telephobia or social anxiety disorder, chances are you’ll mess up when interacting with others. Know this, accept it, and don’t let it limit you. Reconcile with the facts that it’s okay to make mistakes, get tongue-tied, or blank out during the conversation.
Then identify what could go wrong. It could be:
- Stuttering
- Losing your train of thought
- Sounding incoherent; or
- Getting rejected.
The list continues as different people have what they are afraid of. The goal is to identify what’s peculiar to you and address it.
Be Curious About the Other Person
Curiosity does not always kill the cat!
In this case, it could be what helps you overcome phone call anxiety. For example, suppose you work as a customer care agent, dealing with several individuals daily. You can deal with telephobia by being curious about the person you’re talking to.
Most people love talking about themselves and just need someone to listen. So, you don’t have to do much. Rather than feeding your fears, pay attention to what the individual says and what you can learn from them.
Ask questions about their day or anything that interests you. This puts you at ease and creates a relationship with the person. Finally, if it’s a personal call from an unknown line, let your curiosity be what propels you to answer.
Create a Script and Rehearse It
This goes beyond asking questions and getting answers. Create a bullet-form script that includes topics you want to cover during a conversation. Include a brief introduction and your question for the other party. It could be asking them how their day went, why they called, what help you can render, etc.
Of course, you want the discussion to flow naturally, so allow the other person to interject between talking points. It also helps to rehearse how you expect the conversation to go. If it’s a call you’ve been expecting, practice with a friend or record yourself.
Reflect on Past Phone Calls
One way to overcome telephobia is to record conversations with the other person’s permission and listen to them afterward. Of course, you won’t need approval if you work as a sales or customer service agent where all calls are recorded. The more you hear your past phone calls, the greater the chances of becoming desensitized.
Ensure you listen objectively, focusing on what went well and what triggered your anxiety. You can also breakdown the entire conversation into segments and ask the questions on:
- The tone of your voice
- The way you introduced yourself
- If you kept the call’s goal in mind
- Whether there were any long awkward pauses
- The reaction of the other party
- The conclusion of the conversation
Again, write the answers down, and work on the things that triggered your anxiety.
Get Medical Help
You may do all that has been discussed so far and still not get over your phone call anxiety. If this happens, you should seek medical help. The treatment for phone call phobia involves cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques like cognitive restructuring and exposure training.
Cognitive restructuring involves challenging beliefs and replacing negative thoughts with constructive ones. For instance, suppose you fear the other person may react unpleasantly while speaking with you. This therapy makes you consider that it might be true. But, then eventually, you may conclude that it is all in your head and not the actual state of things.
On the other hand, exposure training involves gradually practicing more difficult behaviors. For phone call anxiety, carry out each step in a hierarchy of fears until you get comfortable. A fear hierarchy could look like this:
- Calling a friend or family member that you know will only have a recorded message and won’t pick the call
- Calling a close friend or family member and having a conversation
- Contacting a business and asking straightforward questions
- Calling someone you don’t know well to ask a simple question
- Making each of the previous calls in front of a one-person
- Making each call in front of a group of people
So, when you get comfortable with dialing a line with a recorded message, you move on to having actual conversations. You keep going until you overcome each fear in your hierarchy. Note that the order differs from person to person.
How To Cope With Phone Call Anxiety
Below are tips on coping with telephobia:
- Smile: Always smile before making or receiving a call; it will calm your nerves. It also conveys a sense of pleasantness to the person you’re communicating with.
- Have a Reward System: Reward yourself for every phone call you make or after overcoming a fear hierarchy. It could be as simple as patting yourself on the back or doing something you love.
- Visualize Success: Imagine having a rewarding conversation and feeling good after.
- Determine Availability: If your concern is interrupting someone when you call, ascertain their availability. Knowing the right time to call keeps you from doing so at the wrong time, which could affect your progress.
- Don’t Overthink It: A phone conversation is not rocket science, so don’t overthink it. If someone says no or sounds unpleasant, realize there could be several other reasons for their reaction that has nothing to do with you.
Conclusion
Overcoming phone anxiety may be difficult, but it is doable. However, if it becomes overwhelming, seek help from a mental health professional and follow their recommendations. You can find more resources on anxiety and other mental health challenges here.